Jan. 6, 2020
There may be a rather confusing element to the day for you, in which you feel tempted to act but not all the pieces seem to be in place. It could be hard to make a decision about things since the facts seem to be quite clouded. You’re better off spending this day enjoying your friends or your favourite hobby rather than trying to make any major life decisions or commitments.
Well, that settles it, I’m staying in and having a me day.
Isabelle is lucky. Not only is she beautiful, and I mean truly beautiful. That girl could give you an orgasm just by looking at her. I’d I’d love to take her for a spin and let her see how amazing being with a woman feels like. She hasn’t been interested in crossing the line between our friendship and play friends. She’s She’s truly amazing and best of all, for her anyway, she’s independent. She doesn’t have any family drama to deal with, well, not anymore. She doesn’t have any connection to this community, I damn well made sure of it. I was not going to introduce her to my toxic family. Anyway, they wouldn’t understand her. They wouldn’t like the idea of her being bi-curious or not connected to one sexual orientation. She had every right to be free to figure out who she is, what floats her boat now that she wasn’t so controlled by her family. I envy that in her. I wasn’t close to my maternal family, but when they do call, it’s always something with them. I embarrassed the family by being an underwear model. Why aren’t i back in school. Why do I never finish the things I start, blah, blah, blah. Then there is my community family, always telling me what I should be doing. How I should think and feel about other people. How I should only hang around them and not outsiders. It’s like, fuck off! They hate anyone who is a little bit different, it drives me fucking crazy, Why does it matter if someone likes guys and girls? What difference does it make on their lives? Zero. They are still going to be getting into fights, running with the gang, dealing drugs, who cares if there is someone around that likes both genders?
When Beth shows up, shit is going to get worse. I swear I should be packing a bag and moving to another city. It’s not like I can’t be an underwear model or an escort there. I have a bunch in my bank account, I could afford to not work and just sell this place. I’ve thought about this so many times and yet, here I am. Why? Because as much as I hate being torn in two, I hate being all alone even more. I’m not a person that can be alone. I’m not like Isabelle. She loves her own space. She loves the freedom of being all alone. Me, I need people. Even if those people are shitty people. I need people to survive. I need human interactions, without it, I get depressed. It’s why I went back to the community after six months of being on my own. I couldn’t do it anymore.
I’m having a me day, starting with a shower and then I think I’ll give myself a nice manicure and pedicure. With all of this added drama and stress around the pending release of Beth, I haven’t had a chance to take care of myself properly. Today was going to be all about that. After grabbing a clean change of clothes, I headed into my bathroom and started the shower. One of the things I love the most about my flat was the bathroom. The tub was big enough for four people to fit in it, and there was a separate glass shower stall. It was a real selling point to me, along with the walk-in closet. Getting in, I stood there under the hot stream of water and allowed it to hit all of my body. I could feel the tension draining out of me. I hot shower was exactly what I needed. After giving my hair a thorough washing, I then turned my attention to the growing wetness between my legs.
Picking up the showerhead from the attachment, I leaned back against the wall of my shower and brought the showerhead to my pussy. The hot water always felt good against my clit. I spread my legs as best as I could and closed my eyes. I let my mind wander to my most recent client from two days ago. The way her tongue felt inside of me. I could have laid there for hours letting her eat herself silly. It felt amazing how deep she could get. Moving the showerhead in circles, I was able to get the water hitting my clit in all directions. Massaging it just how I like it. My nipples were already hard, I brought my free hand up to play with them. The heat against my wet pussy felt so amazing, and I was quickly reaching my limit. I let my mind wander to that sexy client of mine, but also added in a third woman. I would have loved to have eaten out another girl that night with Cookie between my legs. To have the taste of them both on my tongue. Just the image of it was enough to push me over the edge, I came hard and long. Pulsing against the heat that was being rained down on me.
When the pulsing stopped, I put the showerhead back and allowed myself a moment under the hot water to catch my breath. My horoscope was right, today really is a me day.
Jan. 10, 2020
You usually can be quite concerned about what people think of you, don’t let this can stop you making important decisions today. Trust your instincts, it may be more Important than usual to be decisive when face with a tough choice.
It was just after midnight when I walked out of the Village to get some fresh air. Tonight had been a shit show. After spending all day doing a photoshoot, I had been looking forward to relaxing tonight for a change. Martha, having other plans, suggested that we (and the girls) went out, saying no was never an option. Now it’s after midnight, I’m still stuck at the Village waiting for when I can get the hell out of here, not having to deal with this shit. Martha and Jane like to spend their time drinking, snorting whatever drug of the evening is, making fun of other people. There is only so long you can tolerate listening to them bad mouth the transgenders and bi-sexuals within the community.
What people don’t realize is that there are different circles within our LGBT community,I like to refer to them as being the progressives and the intolerables. I somehow got trapped within the lousy part of the community. The gang members, the TERFs that behave like they hate anyone that is anything but gay or straight. Even the straight ones they have problems with. They are rude, angry, criminals, and not someone you would ever bring home to your parents. Not that I would like to anyway. Compare them to the progressive part of the community. Tolerable and willing to accept everyone within the community. They treat each other like a family, to having birthday parties, holiday parties, they celebrate everything together. Even the holidays that they don’t believe in like if they celebrate Christmas, they will still partake in Hanukkah celebrations out of respect for others in the community. It was like a dreamland, one I couldn’t seem to figure out how to get passed the gate.
“Hey, baby. You are looking awfully lonely standing there.” A male’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
I looked over to see who was talking and saw some guy that I didn’t recognize. I didn’t think much of it, we were in the gay community so I figured he was gay.
“I’m fine. Just in need of some fresh air.” I said, hoping to blow him off. He seemed drunk to me.
He didn’t quite understand my point at all. He came right over to me and placed his left hand on the wall, getting right in my personal bubble. I took a step to the right, looking to get away from him. He placed his right hand on the wall, boxing me in.
“I could keep you company.” He slurred and brought his mouth closer to mine.
I placed my hand on his chest and pushed him away. “I’m good. You’re not my type.”
“You’re exactly my type. I’m surrounded by fucking dicks thanks to my homo brother. I really need some pussy.”
“Well this homo, has no interest in dicks.” I snapped as I pushed him harder, but he wouldn’t budge.
I’m not really a big girl, very much on the small size, but I figured his intoxicated state would be enough to weaken him so I could move his ass. Even inebriated, this guy was strong. His mouth got even closer to mine, just when I thought this asshole was going to kiss me, he was being pulled back and slammed into the wall next to me. I turned to see Beck holding him against the wall. She had her arm against the back of his neck, and her leg between his legs.
I couldn’t help but smile. I like Beck, always have. She was one of the first people that I had met once Beth was in jail. She tried to get me to move in her circles, but the gang had their hold into me too much. Beck was beautiful and completely gay. She had experimented growing up with both, but she quickly found how much she hated the touch of a man. Even with her smaller size, she was just a bit taller than me, but she was thin and busty. The girl had boobs and an ass you could bounce a penny of. She was sexy as well in her biker style clothes. You wouldn’t expect it, but Beck, she was dangerous. Scary dangerous. An ex-military special op member, this girl could kill you a hundred different ways without a single hesitation. Cold-blooded killer. But if you got into her circle, she was sweet as hell.
We had messed around a couple of times, she was always very generous in bed. At one point, I had thought maybe something would grow between us, but we never seemed to get past the friends with benefits stage. I wasn’t what she was looking for, and after some inner searching, she wasn’t what I wanted either. That didn’t stop us from hooking up when we needed that release. Beck did have a love for virgins and first-timers though. She didn’t care if you were just bi-curious, she always loved to take a woman and show her just what pleasure really was. She made sure it was special and the newbie was always in control. I asked her once why she was so willing to let the other woman be in control. She simply said that someone’s first time should be unique, never forced. I got the feeling that maybe her first time wasn’t ideal. Now she was known as a protector within the progressive community. She was always there if you needed someone to keep you safe or get someone off your back.
“She said no. Now, you are going to get the hell out of here before I decide to use your balls as my new hood ornament.” Beck growled into his ear before she slammed him into the wall and then tossed him to the ground away from us.
The drunk at least had enough sense left to get up and walk away instead of trying to fight with Beck. With his tail tucked between his legs, the drunken asshole was gone, Beck turned to face me.
“Ya, I’m fine thanks.” I gave her a warm smile so she knew how much I appreciated it.
“No problem. Is something going on? It’s not like you to be out here all alone when the party is inside.” Beck leaned her left shoulder against the wall so she could face me directly.
“It’s just been a long day, plus I’m not in the mood to deal with Martha and Jane’s trash talk.”
Beck gave a knowing nod. Long-standing issues have plagued any relationships between her people and our ladies. She was often fighting with the likes of Martha and Beth at some point in the past. Beck hated the gang, especially Beth and Martha and they hated her. Beck wasn’t stupid though, she only ever acted in self-defence, so she never ended up in jail. She also carries a tiny handgun in the back of her jeans. This fact often helped persuade the gang to keep their distance. Beck never pulled it though unless there was a gun pointed at her. But from what I’ve heard through the grapevine, she was one hell of a shot. Beck was a badass through and through. She was basically a hero, to a lot of us.
“You know we can get you out, right?” Beck said.
“There is no out for me. I’m trapped forever.”
“No, you just think you are, but you won’t always think that way. One day you’ll want to get out, and when you do, the community will be there for you.” Beck said warmly.
“I don’t know about that,” I said sadly.
“The community you are used to is that the true LGBT community. You know that. Somehow you just got stuck with the underbelly. The community is all about acceptance and family. We accept everyone who is accepting of others. You got a whole family waiting for you, all you have to do is decide to join it.”
I didn’t know what to say to that and Beck could see it on my face. She gave me a warm smile as she pushed off from the wall.
“Think about it. We’re having a big party on March 28th over at Kristi’s house. Her daughter is getting married. You should stop by and see everyone.”
“I’ll think about it.”
Beck gave me a wink and then headed inside. I couldn’t help but wish I could easily just switch communities and run with the progressives with what they have to offer, but I wasn’t foolish enough to think that it would be that simple. The gang had their hooks into me, and there was no way I was getting them to let go.